终于了解

在你离开的那一天 我抽了第一根香烟

看着烟圈飞上天 模糊之间我依然看得见

我们曾经有过欢乐的画面

还有贴在房间里的照片

我想这次分开让我获益不浅

我终于了解

我爱你不止在刹那之间

你的好我现在才发现

才知道是不可以欠缺

我爱你在一句算了吧完结

承诺已不再是永远

我的心像似破碎的镜片

是我的不知觉 让我对你略

我真的很想和你走到永远

我爱你不止在刹那之间

你的好我现在才发现

才知道是不可以欠缺

我爱你在一句算了吧完结

承诺已不再是永远

我的心像似破碎的镜片

会不到从前

没有了之绝

I feel bad now. =( Hmm. I should not have let CAS PA drank yesterday. And result her being slightly not well today. Hopes she is better now. BLAH! Last night went PLAY with her, Jing and JV. Its a last minute decision. Intially im going to catch a movie at night. But due to the timing which is like kinda late, it got cancelled! Met PA at VIVO after visiting grandma. Yea. Cab there as its quite near. Went to have dinner at TERRA cafe which is not nice at ALL! The food is like cooked seperately! They dont have those "united" taste! TSK! I dont really know how to describe how it taste to u. But what i can say is THEY ARE NOT NICE! BLAH!

Met Sis and Jv kinda last min. Initially they are not going with us to PLAY! But after that, they called me and told me they will join. WHEE! We headed there and reached there at 9! Its still early. Met BF there also. LOL! Was kinda scared and nervous. HAA! We are one of the earliest to reach there. BF came up to us and as usual, we introduce ourself. LOL! sounds funny isnt it? Yea. The whole thing is kinda WEIRD and funny! LOL! Found ourself a safe spot to NUA! Was happily drinking and playing the 5-10 game. BLAH! And i think i drank too fast and much till i feel abit DRUNK at that moment! LOL! Then BF's friend came over and gave me a jug of dont know ribena plus what to drink. HAHA! I got a shock when she came and asked who is felicia. LOL! Anyway, Thanks for that JUG yea MR FABULOUS WOW WOW FREAK! lol. Saw kelson, her gf, irene, idris, jesse and together with their friends there. I was rushing to the toilet every 15 mins. so urgent please. HAHA! Hang around there till 1. Went back w Sis they all. When i got home, i still drag myself to bathe with my eyes closed! I cant believe it also. im really so tired that i feel like slping.

PLOP onto the bed once i bathe. And guess what?! I woke up at 5 to VOMIT! HAA! I cant slp when there is something stuck in my chest! Rush to the toilet and dig my throat! Went back to slp at 530!

Wake up at 930 to have MAC breakfast! HAHA! i sacrifice my slping time for it okie! LOL! Came back at 11 plus. Bathe and went bugis to pray with parents and siblings. Went hospital afterwhich to visit ah ma. She responds to us when we call her. =) Tml she ll go for an op for the throat. Cause she has been putting the tube for kinda long. And there are some abrasions against it which make grandma's throat swollen.

Anyway, i gotta go bed soon. im kinda tired. tml is another day of work. BLAH! good nights people. =]

No promises

HAHA! WOW! Family potrait of freaking sis, Bro and CASH!

HAHA! i also got a family potrait with BOY! LOL.

My handsome and smart BOY!

Its a torture when dogs are swimming! LOL.

LOL! he is being forced to sit with MUM in the car.



Today is a fun fun fun day. :)) went ECP with freaking sis, JV and Cash. And not forgetting my beloved boy and myself. LOL! When i was about to reach, Sis called me and tell me that Cash was vommiting. I was laughing and was thinking that it might be due to car sickness! But when i got there, Cash is damn super hyperactive please. And as usual, he wanted to chase after BOY! Yea. Went to the sea and BOY was like so happy to finally get close to the sea. But when the waves came, he retreated! Sis and JV just go into the sea str8! I was standing there observing them cause 1stly, i dont like to get into the seawater. 2ndly, i did not bring any extra clothing. After BOY got up from the water, he keep rolling himself on the sand like some MUA CHEE. His whole body is covered with sand! And yea, Boy's hair is super ALOT! imagine the sand get into and fur and got stuck there! Went to wash him up and i really got a hard time brushing the dirts out from him. LOL!

Went to have dinner at a JAP restuarant. Sat outside due to our dog commitment. Sis and JV even had to take turns to walk CASH cause he is toooooooooo BARKY! Alamak. Was talking on Travis on the phone earlier. The 1st thing he asked is : hey auntie. where is our icecream treat?

HAHA! he called me at 11am but i get back to him only at 3! HAHA! Anyway next week den we shall go for the icecream thingy yea. I have been eating desserts for this 2 days. Oh ya, just now i had GELARE with JV! WOAH. its DAMN NICE! HAHA! Just to add in something. Just now BOY's butt got bitten by CASH! LOL. and he was so traumastised since den. HAHA! luckily his fur is so much that his flesh is not bitten OFF! And the worst thing is CASH was hanging on biting and dont wish to let go of BOY! Picture them urself. It quite funny actually. OOPS! i cant be so bad to my poor dog. Boy's is just simply playful. And he did nt even retaliate. Got a good temper yea. Just LIKE ME! HAHA! Now he is sleeping like a dead log! We walked like 20 KM before reaching home.no kidding! So damn happy when i got home. Cause i can finally bathe! HAA! Send them back after i bathe for boy. LOL! =] Offer sis one cup of ribena vodka! And my mum poured too much VODKA w/o adding water. HAHA! She wants her DEAD drunk.

I gotta go bed soon. Later gotta do assignment with grp mates. Good nights people.

you took my heart away.

i do look PRETTY isnt it? HAHAA!

HAA! This sinful thing just make my DAY!

This nice burger is SALTY! BLAH

My sister looks like a KID isnt it? LOL! just LIKE ME! HAHA!

And yea, this is ME! LOL!

These few pics ARE STUBBORN! i was trying to rotate. It got saved but in the end when i post it out, it is not even ROTATED! And friendster has been lagging since a few days back. KNS.

Just to admit something. TODAY I SKIP SCH! Cause its DAMN boring. The lecturer will blabber to himself and im wasting my 3 hours there. Thus, i dont see the point in going. Rie was like half hearted. And when i told her im not going, she decided not to go also. Cause its jeremy's birthday! HAHA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR TOFU! lols. Yea. And in the end, both of us decided not to go. At 1st meeting cliques to have dinner. chicken choooooooop! But in the end, i decided to meet CAS PA! yea. Met TS to pass him something. And he wanted to give me a chocolate doughnut to eat as he knows its my FAV! Anyway the whole worlds know i love to eat chocolates! But i din accept his doughnut cause im rushing for time. OOPS! Trained down to outram. HAA! and i hate to take trains. Cause i really can see the ugly sides of people. Squeeze in the train, rush to the seats w/o noticing the people who is around them. LOL! Its kinda terrible when i see those young middled aged people deprive to sit! Reach VIVO earlier than PA by 5 mins. and im PROUD of it! cause im nt late! Yea. Everywhere is filled with people. Wanted to have MARCHE and the Q is damnnnnnn long. In the end, we had swensens. And the 1st time i had was with J whereby i celebrated my bday. =)

Had a super duper FULL dinner there. 50% of our time is talking, 20% is laughing and 30% is eating! LOL! Went daiso to get my PENS! YEA. 3 PENS cost me 2 dollars. Kinda WORTH it yea.

Went to get Boy's foodie and treaties! HAHAHA! Walked round and round to look for the brand of biscuits i always buy but i CANT find! And that CAS PA was complaining she is giddy! And she is gonna kick me soon! BLAH. And finally, we went to had BENS AND JERRYS! WOOOOO WOOOO WOOO! YEA. But she just ate one scoop only. No kick lah! I had my waffleeeeeeeee and 2 scoops of icecream. Damn nice please. I hope if bens and jerrys are going to shoot advertisement, i can be the "dai yan ren". lol.

Work is pretty alright today. =] im still trying to adapt to the environment. Everyone is teaching me things very SLOWLY! Cause im abit retard. HAHA!

WOAH! its 1 am now. Times FLIESS so fast please. tml will be a long day. im gg to sleep now. =]

i FEEL SO FAT NOW! BLAHHHHHHHHHH

i can still sense ur presence around me.

Recently, things are going peacefully. NO! should be PISS FULLY! Dont treat me as one dumb woman please. Since you say stop contacting den so be it. Dont twist your words and now you can come and tell me you can be my listening ear. HAA! is this a joke or something? I find it rather ridiculous.
Read Cas Pa's blog earlier. Agreed with her like TOTALLY. i cannot stand people who can ask their partner to forsake their friends cause they dont like that person?! Recently, she got a friend is like that. Selfish isnt it? In the end, the girl will suffer cause she will be FRIEND-LESS. How sad it is isnt it without friends. anyway, this shows that there is simply no trust and respect between them. Whatever it is, its non of my concern. im out of all this RS thing. Feel kind of scary when i tot of starting another rs in future. BLAH. But, now, priority is WORK and STUDIES! no more lovey dovey issues in my mind. LOL!
Work are piling up these few days. Im trying to adapt to the environment there. Though there are like only 6 of us but there are office politics as well. Yea. Everywhere is just filled with all these people. How scary it is please. I rather shut my mouth and do my work fast cause i cant wait for work to END! blah.
Went gym earlier. Its like FINALLY after 2 weeks. Today didnt go and visit ah ma. Mum, dad and sis went instead. Jie this morning sms us that ah ma is slightly better now but there is still inflammation. She needs lots of rest. =)
im going to sleep soon. Today i shall sleep b4 10! HAA! My panda eye is going darker. OH MY GOSH!

lets be mature.


can i have one mango tango please?

淘汰
陈奕迅


我说了所有的谎
你全都相信
简单的我爱你
你却老不信
你书里的剧情
我不想上演
因为我喜欢
喜剧收尾
我试过完美放弃
的确很踏实
醒来了梦散了
你我都走散了
情歌歌词何必押韵
就算我是k歌之王
也不见得把
爱情唱得完美
只能说我输了
也许是你怕了
我们的回忆
没有皱褶
你却用离开烫下句点
只能说我认了
你的不安
赢得你信任
我却得到你安慰的淘汰
我试过完美放弃
的确很踏实
醒来了梦散了
你我都走散了
情歌歌词何必押韵
就算我是k歌之王
也不见得把爱情唱得完美
只能说我输了
也许是你怕了
我们的回忆
没有皱褶
你却用离开烫下句点
只能说我认了
你的不安赢得的信任
我却得到你
安慰的淘汰
只能说我输了
也许是你怕了
我们的回忆
没有皱褶
你却用离开烫下句点
只能说我认了
你的不安
赢得的信任
我却得到你安慰的淘汰.


The songs lyrics whereby i post everytime are the ones which are meaningful and nice. There is a meaning behind every of these song lyrics. =]
Grandmother was soundly asleep when we went to see her just now. This morning, something happened again. The doctors suspect that there is some internal bleeding in her cause her urine and shits contain blood. And thus, they were trying to locate the blood vessels to stop the bleeding. Ah ma's breathing is not as heavy as yesterday anymore. I hope tomorrow's medical report will turn out fine. =)

This morning when i woke up, i feel rather unhappy and upset. I was on the verge of crying and i dont really know why either. Just nice Rie msg me and i was telling her. AS usual, she was like counselling me again. BLAH.

I dont know if my birthday party is still going on or not? Maybe i might call it off. Yea yea yea. Its ok. No big deal. I got no mood to celebrate it either with this kinda situation happening in the family. BLAH.

Distorted rainbows. Can i have one more mr snoring pig?

David Cook- Always be my Baby.

We were as one babe

For a moment in time

And it seemed everlasting

That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free

So I'm letting you fly

Cause I know in my heart babe

Our love will never die

No!

You'll always be a part of me

I'm a part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no

And I won't beg you to stay

If you're determined to leave girl

I will not stand in your way

But inevitably you'll be back again

Cause ya know in your heart babe

Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl

When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh

I know that, you'll be right back, babe

Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)

I'm part of you indefinitely

Girl don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

These 2 cakes are damn NICE! from NYDC!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILL JO! this morning, i send a long distance msg to perth to wish her happy birthday and she was surprised that i remembered its her birthday. COME ON. i got a good memory. And im nt that heartless to forget my friend's birthday.

Last night drag myself up to fetch brother at the airport. Was so damn tired. BF msged me at 1220. Was surprised to saw her msg cause she was trying to wake me up. But in the end, i woke up at 1 instead. Yea.

Woke up at 9 today. Thanks to MUM! She woke us up everytime at this timing. Brought Boy down to pee pee and poo. Walked for awhile around the park and let him have abit of tanning. BLAH. Met Rie at 11.15 at bedok. Her mum send us to the hospital. Ah ma is feeling better. She smiled at us when we went in. But still cant talk and is kind of weak. Hang around there until 1 30 before going town. Cabbed there cause its raining! OMG! went heeren to have NYDC. Its has been so long since i had that.

Met parents for dinner at parkway. Felt that my shoulder is going to break soon. Complaining and whining to mum. She was blaming me for going out for the whole day today. BLAH.

Weekend pass rather quickly. Oh my god. Tomorrow is monday again. Blah. i gotta slp now.good nights.

You dont have to feel confused if you did not do anything wrong. Chapter closed between us.

unforgettable past. It leaves a scar somehow.

While i was taking this photo, MUM was saying im CRAZY. Cause i basically cam whoring for quite some time. LOL!

The place where we have been for the past one week giving granny our moral support while she is in ICU.

This small lill dot shows how thick the needle is.

=]

HAHA! DINOSAUR bandage.

DONATING BLOOD SAVES LIFES! Make a trip down to HSA Bloodbank to donate blood now!

Visit this link to know more about blood donation. =)

http://www.hsa.gov.sg/publish/hsaportal/en/health_services/blood_donation.html

Yesterday night while in class, i was thinking if i should donate blood as i have been passing by the HSA bloodbank whenever after visiting granny.. And i decided to do so. Why not? Since i am helping patients in a way. And my blood will be replenish in 3 days time. Its just like 10% of my whole body's blood.The 1st time i donate is like last year march. Damn LONG ago lahs. blah. Initially Rie is going with me. But she have to go and meet her future parents in law. And thus, i went with someone else. HAHA! And that poor someone waited for me for an hour. Yea. Cab Down to meet cliques for lunch at amara hotel. Gave travis a treat. LOL! Reason being: He refer me as a friend who intro him to MDIS and thus, i got a 100 dollars cheque as a form of rebate. That means i got 100 dollars extra this month. We were like kids trying to have a agreement on how this 100 bucks should be divide. He gave me 3 choices. 1st- i burn the cheque away. 2nd- I donate to charity. 3rd- i split half with him. Damn nonsensical isnt it? HAA! TS pass me the 3 disc i asked him to get for me the other time. MAMMA MIA, SEX IN THE CITY and ONE MISSED CALL! The 1st 2 shows i have watched before. But i like the 2 shows. So, no harm watching again. LOL. But if you people have not watch them and wanting to watch, U can borrow from me. Im more than willing to RENT it out! HAA. kidding.
Went to the hosp to visit granny just now. I drove. Dad was beside me watching me drive. He was irritating. VERY IRRITATING! BLAH. He and mum gang up to nag at me when i drove slightly faster, when i did turn my head to check the blind spot but they didnt notice and when i change lane w/o telling them. And we had a commotion in the car when my dad asked me to turn in here and there so suddenly. My blood was really boiling to 200 degrees earlier. lols.

Granny is better now though she still cant talk yet and still rely on the tubes for breathing. But at least she open her eyes occassionally and moves her hands very slowly. Doctors says she is progressing very well. WHEEEE.. =]

Just now after visiting granny, dad saw my tattoo on my back cause i bend down to pick up something. He asked me something which surprise me cause he was talking to me in a joking way and was smiling. He asked me:"girl ah. U love ur name very much to even carve on ur body. Thanks to me for naming u felicia" LOL!

Bro will be coming home tonight after 20 days in thailand. Days just pass so quickly. Ltr i still gotta fetch him from airport at 145am. HAA! Night drive is exciting! lols.

I really wonders how can we see people who are a hypocrite or not. HAA! some people can really talk bad about you and end up forwarding you those good nights msg to u in the middle of the night. Is this some acting drama class or something? Come on lah. Grow UP! If you dare to tell tales abt others, why are you afraid to let people know that U r the one who tell tales? Why must you tell that person nt to spill ur name out? Child's Play?

Was talking to CAS PA for an hour plus last night. Talking about all sorts of thing. Had a great laugh! LOL!

The truth has came out. Everything has come to a light. I wont go and bother you or even contact you anymore.. Have a happy rs with your love.. =]

give me the right direction please. I dont want to bang to the hard wall.

My LOVE. =]

finally today is FRIDAY. I have been waiting for this day since MONDAY. And when it comes, i feels abit worried again. Cause it will pass very QUICKLY! I feel that im contradicting myself! Had lesson earlier. Jeremy send me back again. Was telling rie how "bu hao yi si" i am whenever she and jer were supposed to go dating but yet they got to send me back first. HOHOHO. Oops. Tml i have my programs planned. But 1st of all, i ll go for my blood donation first. Tml initially meeting jing, jv and cashy to ECP. but i gotta go hosp. So i will make it up to them some other time.
This noon i heard some fcuking funny joke from ______! Some loser can go around saying that i cheat her feelings and money when she only bring 20 dollars out everytime. She can say she loves me very much and i dont appreciate. makes me sound like a sinner? HAA! Look at yourself in the mirror. I din expect her to steal things and being a bummer now. I wonders why this kind of people exist in the world still. Dont want to look for a job. Rather spread tales. Pester people and anyhow call people "DEAR". OH GOD! disgusting fellow.


good nights.

go to HELL hypocrite!

Grandma is making a significant progress though she is still in ICU. She could move her hands and legs a little. And she dont need the dialysis machine anymore but her urine contains blood. The doctor is still monitoring her condition closely. Just came back from hospital. Just now, we Went to grandma's ward and talked to her. She tried to open her eyes a lill. Dad, Jie and I were calling out for her softly and she heard us. She was trying to use her strength to open her eyes and i saw tears trickling down. We were asking grandma to stay strong and "jia you." we are all waiting for her to go back with us. I know grandma can hear us. I know she knows we are waiting for her to go home. Grandma, please stay strong alright.
Work was pretty ...... for me. I dont know how to describe the feeling in me. But i know i have been whining and grumbling alot. I guess its becoz i cant get used to the environment. It takes time i suppose. Thanks tofu, kelson for msging me every morning to motivate me to work and always have to read my whining msg though u all are repeating the things to me over and over. Thanks mee rebus for accompanying me for lunch this 2 days. Thanks teck siang for listening to my complaints every afternoon via sms. Thanks CAS PA for being there for me also though she is also very unwell this few days. Thanks Travis for being such a lame man and trying to cheer me up with his insanity. I wanna thank J, freaking sis, BUTT, Ping jie and others for the concern given also.
Im so looking forward to weekend. I need a rest badly. Yesterday BF send me a song which im looking for sooooooooooo badly. Its by SHE called "an jing le." GO and search for it online. Its nice. And yea. im addicted to a song call-miss independent by NE YO! Listen to that too. =)

i gotta sleep now. tml will be another new day. Going sch as well. Weekends will be going hospital and oh ya, im gg to donate blood. =)


u promise to piggyback me when im gg old.

you are everything i need.

be thankful that we are still living healthly each day. Make full use of each day doing useful stuffs.


i want to thank everyone for their concern recently. take care.

tomorrow is the day whereby i will go into a new environment meeting new people, doing new work and experiecing different things. Something is not right whereby im alone coping with all this. im learning to be alone, to be independent and do things by myself.. In the past, i have relied on people so much that i cant get used doing things by myself now.
Grandma's is still not conscious. She is still in ICU and depending on the dialysis machine and breathing tubes for support. But the doctor is saying that they are cutting down on the dosage of medicine to make her conscious. But still, Grandma is still sleeping. Everyone hopes that she will wake up soon. We are all waiting for her to go home.

You took my heart away. I wish you would stay.

我会好好过李玖哲

你的爱很像泡沫
太轻或太重
都不在手中
我的爱就像天空
太放或太收
你都只是风
你来过
却爱上自由
你出走
我不问理由
我会好好过
等你再爱我
总有个角落
会让你想起我
我会好好过
等你再爱我
向右或向左
都有我站在这里守候
你留下很多
够我面对寂寞
寂寞不重
纵使爱太弱
我会好好过
等你回头会
看到的一定是我

This is suppose to be a very nice song.
Today seems so different from other Saturdays. I did not go for my last day of work this morning. I took urgent leave. Initially tonight, we are going to a pub to drink as a celebration for my upcoming new job next monday. We planned everything nicely. We have booked one table beforehand. But we decided to postpone everything. This morning, When we went down hospital, everything seems okie. Its just that grandma's breathing seem heavy. There is a tube connected across her nose and ah ma was on drip. She is sub conscious but she kept on wanting to get up of the bed. She pulled the tubes off and blood was dripping everywhere. At that time, im trying my best to hold back my tears. We called the doctor and nurse immediately and they were trying their best to stop the blood from flowing out. Doctors were saying that it because her Blood Pressure was low and thus, causing her heartbeat to be irregular. And they will be monitoring her closely. And at that time, Grandma was in the high dependency ward and only allows 2 visitors at a time.. The 3 of us went off after 2 hours and thinking of coming back around 6 plus after doing our own personal stuff. But after an hour, we recieved a call and Ah ma was send to ICU. Me and MOO rushed back again from town and Rie cabbed down. This time round, more cousins came and most of them have swollen eyes. We went in to look at Ah ma. I knew she is in a pain. Everyone was trying to talk to her to keep her awake. She was trying her best to reply all of the questions asked But doctor did advise us not to talk to her so much as she has to use her muscles when she speak. We all cried. Doctors and Nurses were working very closely to make the necessary arrangements. Doctors were saying that the imflammation in grandma gets worse and causes the 2 kidneys to fail. There were excess blood in it and they are trying to use the dialysis machine to clear the toxic away. There are infections in the large intestine and stomach too. And they gotta insert the tube in her mouth for her to breathe better. Everything is unstable. Xrays were done together with so much blood tests. I cried so hard and was telling Moo and Rie that i hate all this happening to the ppl around me. And somemore this person fighting for her life is my grandma. The feeling is really killing everyone of us. We cant do anything but to wait outside ICU for the nurses to update us w Grandma's condition.
Rie will be staying over tonight with other cousins. Me and Moo will go down early in the morning tml. I got a very very bad headache now. Everything seems to be so wrong now.

I pray for the best for my grandma. Hugs.

生老病死 is something we will experience during the process of our life. Yea. Life is really pretty short. The moment we are born, we have to face so much so much up and downs. We have to go through different phases of situations. Be it happy or sad. We have to face them. Come to think to it, I think i did not achieve anything during this 20 years.Or, i should say 21 years. Did kind of badly for PSLE. Proceed on to my Secondary school. Had a fair share of happy and unhappy memories. Let start from the Unhappy Part. Sec 1 and 2 are the horrible phase for me. Cut off ties with a friend who is supposed to be my best friend. But due to her character, me and ZX decided to just "dont friend her". What a joke. Yea. Let Chris down so many times until i lost count of them. Hate my CCA to the CORE and whenever i can, i just absence myself from band practice. Always come home late and hang around at dont know which shopping centre when im still in Sec 1 and 2. Sounds so DUMB when i think of it now. Happy part is during my secondary 3 and 4 days whereby i get to know my BUTTS, and i did quite ok for my O levels. At least my efforts do pay off. And lill Jo was there for me during this period of time guiding me all the way.

Then after O levels, i proceed on to Poly.. The Course is actually not the one i want to go into. But at that time, i myself dont even know what i want to study at all. In the end, Mum chose for me. The course Seems to have alot of prospects upon looking at my uncle's career now. But that does not applies for me. In fact, i was somehow suffering at that time. i dont dare to go school, i dread going for lectures, i hate tutorials cause i cant even finish them. I was complaining to kelson every morning when i got to school.. I only manage to scrap through all my tests. Chill Buddy drop out in the midst of the course and left me with 3 other girls. And that period of time is simply like HELL! I saw hyprocritism and fake friendship between the 3 of them. I remain neutral. Yea. And now i heard from one of them that they did not contact anymore. So this is called FRIENDSHIP?!

Yea. Manage to get a Diploma with alot of C and D in my transcript. Seems demoralising. But i dont care. i stay on to the course because of mum. She asked me to endure for the 3 years. And thus, i listened to her. When i graduated, i did not even go for the grad night. This shows how heck care i am. Yea. Got my current job once after i graduate. Cant rest for too long as im dont wish to be a bummer. Right from the start, i knew this job wont get me anywhere. Its more for housewives and retirees. The job is rather simple. As long as u know how to speak English, Mandarin, read english, You are IN! Yea. Though the pay is rather LOW, But i stay on. Alot of people were telling me that i should change job since last year. I kept saying: "Ya, i will." But its just a way to shut them up. I was too lazy to look for another job at that time. What job i can look for with this lousy result? Lab Techinican? Chemical Engineers? Analyst? DREAM ON. I think i can only be the cleaner in this industry. So i stay on in the job for 1 year plus. Sometimes, i will tell J i wish to change job but dont know which job to choose. She will ask me to slowly think about it. And Afterwhich, i forgot abt it and i continue my routine job. I just feel very comfortable with the environment there. Its like the people there are like your mothers. And they are people who are easily to get along with. Everyday at work is just so nice and relaxed for me. But i need to move up one more step.

Thus, i decided to go for my Bachelor Degree together with MOO and RIE. Initally, we only want to get a TMIC cert. But after some discussion, we think that its more better to get a Degree better than another DIP cert. Went MDIS and take up International Bachelor(HONS) Degree in Hospitality, Hotel Management and Tourism course. The duration is 2 years and 8mths. Stdying and Schling at the same time is hectic and tiring. You gotta juggle ur time real well. Projects, assignments, essays and presentation. I had a hard time during the 1st 2 mths. Had so much quarrels with my cousins as well as J. Yea. But things are solved afterall. Me and cousins are still cousins. Me and J are still friends. =)

Tender my resignation in the midst of sept. Had a hard time deciding if i should quit But afterall, i decide to move on to another company.
Now, i got a new job working under the HR department. And i will be starting it on next monday. Hopefully everything will goes well and i hope i can achieve smth out of this.
Today is simply a day which is so wrong. Firstly, within 30 mins, there are 3 ppl kena Sacked by my company. HAA! Recession period? How come we need to give one mth notice when we resign and when the boss sacked people, they just need one min?

Secondly,Grandma has been admitted to hospital this afternoon. Just now, Da gu called Rie and said her condition is not very good and still very sick. And there is a infection. If the pain still persist, Grandma have to go for OP. I just feel like crying just now. I feel so helpless. the 3 of us Wanted to go down hospital after school but we decided to go tml instead as its kind of late anyway. tml suppose to be my last day at work. But am nt going anymore. Cherish your family members and loves one before they leave you. Dont only regret only when you lose something. Now, alot of people asked me the same qsn: "felicia, will you regret doing the tattoo?" Sorry but the answer is NO. I thought very carefully of what i want before doing it.

im just so tired now. Bless me with a life span till 60 will do. good nights.

Thanks for reading this long post. =)

i dont see any happiness in me at all.

"birds fly high. hard to get. Friends like you, hard to have"
HAHA! Yea. i was reading my primary school autograph book just now. Its so damn funny with those qsns like:"my best friends are....my enemies are....my fav food is....my fav drink is.... and etc etc." Too much to be written down. Come to think to it, i think i got a pretty funny and memorable chilidhood in my primary school days. I wonder how my primary school mates are now. Woah. time just flies. And in 1 mths time, im going to have my 21st bday partyyyy. Exactly a mth! WHEEEEEE. im more looking forward to 8th NOV please! Cause its a pre celebration and we are going for a CLUBBING BASHHH. i was saying that i wont go back until i get DRUNK! Sounds crazy i know. LOL!
Joke of the day: Someone actually says i control her movement and dont allow her to go whereever she wants to go? HAA! Sounds abit .... ? Im someone who dont like to be controlled and in turn, im being said. Gosh. The pot is calling the kettle black? Ridiculous. -_-'' im not a remote control for ur infomation. =) But its ok. At least now i see the whole picture.

Yea. Today was a pretty slack day. LOL! insanity again at work. Chit Chatting, snacking and listening to music. Sounds like a recreation place at work. I did one thing which im not supposed to do earlier at work. BLAH! Had a hard time thinking if i should do it. In my mind, there is an angel and a devil. I was pestering SL to give me a decision. HAA! And in the end, the DEVIL in me WINS! And thus, i proceed what i wanna do. BLAH.

Went to meet CAS PA at SGH just now. =) Bought her my favvvvvvvvv flower. And that is SUNFLOWER!! Woah. That stalk of sun flower is expensive yea. LOL. I should have go and pluck some flowers over at my workplace there. HAHA! Cabbed there and the cab fare is like only 3,90! the cheapest fare i ever took. Went to the wrong ward. I was wondering how come her name becomes to be a malay name. HAA! Check my hp again. TA DAH! I went to the wrong ward. Reverse back and walked to the correct place. When i opened the door, there were 4 other patients. CAS PA was sitting on the chair with her sister. And she looks pale. And when i talked to her, she is expression-less except me and her sis were laughing among ourselves. Yea. I know its kinda painful for her still. After awhile when the nurse came and remove a tube from her body, she becomes slightly better and started to talk to us and we DID joke abit about her dinner and stuff. BLAH. Anyway, Hope you get well soon PA. =)

Went to meet chris for dinner. Whenever i meet her, it will sure be fast food. BLAH! Was rushing to meet her cause i thought im running late! And in the end, she is the one who is late! Terrible. Had a quick dinner, following by some updates of our lifes, walked around for a while to digest our stomach and off we went, HOME! lols.
Just came back not long. Bought mum and sis "tutu kueh." BLAH. I know im a good sis and daughter. HAHA!
i need to exercise soon. My stomach is real round now. Mum stopped me from exercising again today cause she is afraid my wound will be open up and get infected. Seriously, its kinda pain still. I dont know why. SHITS! Yea. im going bed soon. Too tired to even type more. LALALA! good nights people.


i can still feel your breathe close to me.
can we paint rainbow in your room again?

twinkle twinkle little stars. ********

I was happily eating wad auntie serene got for me this afternoon. Sambal chilli Prawn with fried fish and long beans.Its damn nice please.And in the end, i forgot about everything! I cant touch seafood for 2 weeks! YES. I totally forgotten about it. And I cant possibly decline people's offer for lunch treat isnt it? HAA. And the painful part came after an hr plus. I can feel that my flesh is tearing apart and i was msging Rie to tell her about it. Msged Freaking sis also to complain to her. And the worst thing is i have to walk up and down. Was kinda irritated intially. But come to think to it, i just left with 2 and 1/2 days. Come on, bear with it FEL!
Oh yea, CAS PA's operation went smoothly. =) She msged me ard 4 plus and told me she is out. And i asked her a dumb qsn. I asked: "PA, are u better now? is it pain?." LOL! Sounds lame i know. lol. Am going to visit her w one truck of ribena soon. HEE!
Sch was pretty fun today. =)) Me and Rie got the wrong book to school today. BLAH! But its ok cause we dont use text books for this lesson. I nearly doze off several times just now. Feel so damn sleepy. -_-'' But managed to catch abit of the lecturer says. Bits and bits. HAA! Today ZW went for his reservis for 21 days. Yesterday was his bday. I forgotten abt it until Rie called me and remind me. But i didnt msg him immediately. i wanted to wait till 1159 to msg him. But i cant tahan anymore when its like 11. So i msged him at that time and his reply is freaking lame.

Today smth ridiculous happen. It somehow make me feel very pissed and dumb at the same time. But its ok. This is not an impt issue anymore. Yea. Life still have to goes on. =)

gosh. its kinda late now. i gtg go bed. Good nights people.

Can i go holiday with you again?

i feel like shitting now. Omg. Just a short post to wrap up for my day! BLAH! Work was fine overall. This week i have been treated for lunch by my colleagues. Can save 25 dollars. Cause one day of my lunch, i ll tend to spend 5 dollars. HAHA! sounds like a saving plan isnt it? LOL! Yea. Seems like the whole world knows abt me leaving even the agents and runners from companys. Words really spread fast! HAA!
YEA. i needa to rush to the toilet and bathe now. lalala.


icecreammmmmm... here i come. =]

insanity is the word to describe myself at times.

Yea. I deleted the post i post last night. Due to the content in it. To cut it short, i admit that i have disappoint my parents in some way. I did apologise to them and i dun expect them to forgive me straight away. My affected part is still kind of pain. The whole of last night, i have been sleeping side ways. I cant lie flat straight on my bed. Cause i can feel the thing pulling apart. I wont complain or grumble much. Cause i caused this to myself. But i did not regret afterall. Nobody influence me. No body changed me. I did it outta my own decision. Yea.. This morning, it seems that the whole world is unhappy with me. Msged CAS Pa and told her that. She reasoned out with me. Ya, i understand what she is trying to tell me and i went to do some reflection afterwhich.. sigh.

Work was fine today. Except that i need to run to a few places to help out.During lunch time, A few of my colleagues were talking to me and then they pat my back. They didn't know anything and yea, i was BEARING the pain but i still can smile and chit chat w them for that moment of time. HAA! But in my heart, i was like" what the hell?!!" BLAH.

Oh, i had free lunch treat today. LOL! seems "tan xiao pian yi" isnt it! If travis is ard, he will sure comment on this! Yea. A treat cause this week is my last week in the office. Tml there is one more treat with my executive. *grins*

Last night, freaking sis msged me that she is proud of me after looking at the pic. I was like:"eh. i did not went for a run or whatsoever and won a medal. what for be proud of me?" HAHA! Yea. i get wad she mean. CRAZINESS LAH SIS! lols.

Just now i was on BUS XX. Then there was this senior citizen old man with his 30 plus year old sexy GF! Yea. From CHINA! Its ok if they are totally in love. But the thing is this old man is trying to be a old hero. Trying to protect his gf in the packed bus. Hugging her upper body. NOT WAIST, BUT THE BREAST AREA closely to his body. Whispering in her ears. And the whole bus of passenger is staring at them! And guess wad, they dropped at the red light district. HAA! sounds disgusting isnt it? BLAH.

i cant wait for saturday to come. HOHOHO! A celebration for me leaving my current job. And a celebration for me to join another "KU HAI". Contradicting yea i know. I just hopes everything will turn out fine.

I have been a good girl these few days. I slept at 9 plus, and woke up early. =)

Tml hopefully i can go gym though mum forbids me as she is afraid that if i sweat, there will be infection. Hmmm. i supposed not lah. BLAH.

im slping soon. Good nights people.

i need a bucket of moisturizer!

thanks silly pig for all the reminders. =)

hohoho! mum was saying that my hair is getting shorter and shorter each time i cut! Yea. Just one side alright. Aiyo. Blah. I feel so bloated up now. Seems like my stomach is like getting rounder each time i eat. Seems weird. Cause my stomach will just bulge out everytime i eat be it lill or much. Gosh. I was asking people is it because i keep touching it whenever after my meal and thus, it grows bigger. Seems not logical. Blah. whatever. Yea. Yesterday, me and Tofu finally quarrel after months. How nice ahh! I was saying just last week that it seems like me and her din quarrel for quite some time and So SUAY, ytd we just burst into a quarrel over some issues. But afterall, its solved. Best friends dont bear grudges yea. HOO XI! =)
Yesterday, i finally step into Fish and Co again. LOL! its like after 2 years plus. The 1st and last time i ate was w J at Boon Lay. WOAH! And yesterday i was like a "sua ku" when i went there. Was so tempted by so many nice food! My cooked salmon, prawn, crab and blah blah blah. Ordered 2 seafood platter, 1 fish and chip and shared among 5 people. Its damn sumptous and delicious! wooolala. Then the funny part when ZW dont even knows we are actually celebrating his bday for him cause all along he thought we are just having a farewell dinner for him as he ll leaving for AUS for his reservis. He was caught in surprise when the cake is being served out and all the fish and co staffs were singing their own version of bday song for him. LOL! the whole thing is so funny. BLAH.
Walked from PS to Bugis to take train with Rie. So romantic yea. LOL! We hope to burn some fats by walking but, it dont help! We seem to be more bloated up than ever. And i did a crazyyyyyyyyy thing last night. I went to bathe at 1145. Washed my head still. PLOP into my bed str8 after that. And guess what?! I got a real heavy head this morning. It is so painful that i nearly faint while im in the toilet bathing. No kidding. AIYO!
Just now had steamboat with usual clique. Changed venue though. This time round, the place is so much better than those we used to have. More variety of food, more cooling, more freshness of food. LOL! Its at bugis, next to the Tian Tian Steamboat! HEE! By the time we finish steamboat, i cant even stuff in anymore food. Initially going to have ice creammmmmmm. But in the end, we postponed. BLAH. Me, Buis and TS walked over to Raffles City to walk around to digest our stomach cause i keep complaining that i feel like vomiting! HAA!
Went over to Paragon aftterwhich and i got myself a 3/4 shorts.Initially its $55. But ended up its $35! HAHA! EH. Marks and Spencers is having SALES! So people, go down QUICK to grab whatever caught ut eyes yea. LOL!
i got the urge to sing! But....i think i need to give myself a break from it! seems like every week, im toturing my throat!
Next week will be the last week im staying at my current co. Got a mixture of feeling in me though. I love the working environment, i love the people there cause they are just like my aunts to me especially my 3 supervisors together with ping jie. But there isnt any prospect even if i stay there for 10years. And thus, i need to find a better career for myself, my future.sigh. Saddening isnt it? I guess this is really part and parcel of life.
BLAH BLAH BLAH!
i think im gg crazy.Someone, Get me a brain surgeon please to take away part of my brain. I mean the part whereby i got a lot of unhappy memories in there. Thanks!

Anyone of us(stupid mistake)- Gareth Gates

I've been letting you down, down
Girl I know I've been such a fool
Giving in to temptation
When I should've played it cool
The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand
[Chorus]
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, anyone you think of
Anyone can fall
Anyone can hurt someone they love
Hearts will break'
Cause I made a stupid mistake
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, say you will forgive me
Anyone can fail
Say you will believe me
I can't take my heart will break'
Cause I made a stupid mistake
A stupid mistake
She was kind of exciting
A little crazy I should've known
She must have altered my senses'
Cause I offered to walk her home
The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand
[Chorus]
A stupid mistake
she means nothing to me(nothing to me)
I swear every word is true
don't wanna lose you


TML IS THE DAY! WISH ME LUCK!

BOY is practically enjoying his way of "SUNTANNING." =]

Look like a sausage dog being Wrapped isnt it? LOL.

His way of drinking water.

I did bathe for him today. LOL.

My sis says i got a "monkey look" with this expression.BLAH!

Yea. ITS ME AGAIN! lol.

ALOHA! Today, time seems to pass so quicklyyyyyyyyyy. omg. And now, its night time again! ONE DAY of PH is not ENOUGH! *protest* BLAH.

This morning, i FINALLY woke up at 9.46am! I have not been waking up at this kinda timing already. Everytime is either 620am or 830am. Why these 2 timing? Cause 630 is on weekdays whereby i have to wake up for work. 830 is when my mum come and wake me up on sunday. Woke up and head to MAC for breakfast with SIS while mum and dad went to have their own fishball noodle. The time was 1043am when we reached there. And the Q was like so longgggggggggg still. Yea. As usual, i went to Q up while Sis sat there and be a princess for me to serve her. And the situation over there seems chaotic alright! Everyone was running across the counter to serve the crowd. And when its my turn, its 11am! Luckily i still manage to get my FOOD! if not i will just GROWL and ROAR! LOL. i simplyyyyyyyyy loves HOTCAKES now.

When i got home, i just PLOP to my bed and start to read my magazines. read read read............. and soon i FELL asleep w/o knowing. And when i woke up, it was 1.15pm! Jumped out of the bed cause i told mum to wake me up at 1230. But she didnt! BLAH! lazy MUM! Head to the gym with Sis. Worked out for an hour plus. Went to bought BOY's food and tidbits which nearly cost me 50 DOLLARS! Everything is so expensive now can. I was complaining to my parents that if everything is gg to rise the price, i ll go BANKRUPT soon. And the reaction i get from my dad was: "CHOY LAH. Bu yao luan jiang hwa!". Really mah! Today the prices for electricity increase 20% more for ppl who lives in 5 rooms flat! Bus fares increase by 4 cents! DAMN! But one thing which is stagnant is our PAY! This morning, there is this groups of aunties and uncles sitting behind me and they were gossiping and i happen to overheard. They are also complaining about the increase of everything now. Then they say: we cant dont work in Singapre. Money is just keep on gg out and not coming in. One day we ll have to cycle whereever we go." HAHA! i agree totally! *raise my arms* BLAH.

Just now had dinner at airport. Send brother off. Zi Lin was there also. And bro was shunning us back saying that there is no need to wait for him to go in. Then i suddenly asked a very lame qsn: "Then why Zi lin can stay but nt us?" HAA! Then he replied:" Its different okie." LOL! i think im mean to ask this type of QSN which is kinda obvious. lol.

Someone told me smth. She Told me that she dont wish to put in much to a RS. Told me that the person she is w now is nt the person of her life. And told me that the girl actually knows that she still got another person in her heart but she dont mind. Then smth came to my mind. "what is the point of being together? " if im the girl, i will feel upset seriously. Anyway, i dun care abt all this. i believe Things will change for the better between.. i also dont wish to be involved in this kinda thing anymore. But i really hope that they will work it out well and happily. =]

YAY! Tml am watching MAMA MIAAAAAAAAAAA again. WHEEEEEE! Its really a worthwhile show to watch. Trust ME! =D wahh. finally tml i start work at 830 again.

countdown to 11 more days!

i still believe, someday you and me.